Five of the Londoners you’ll know
Ah London. What a beautiful melting pot of cultures and activities. A place to fall in love with. A place to realise dreams. A place to be whoever YOU want to be. A place of diversity. But despite all of this poetry, a place where you are almost guaranteed to meet all of these people.
1. Adults on scooters
I know some people are riding them to keep up with their children, who also have scooters, which is OK, if you’re doing it so your kid doesn’t whoosh into a road. But not all scooter-drivers are doing it for this reason – I’m talking the grown man kind, who probably has a bell he is going to use when he comes up behind you. Oh silly me, I forgot I was on a cycle track for scooters. Oh wait, I’m not. I’m on a pavement.
2.People who don’t know how to move up seats
Looking for a seat on a bus? Or a train maybe? These aisle-hoggers will act like you’ve asked them for their remaining kidney when you move to take the window seat, moving their legs the minimal amount so you have to squeeze past. Just move up when you get on – don’t be one of these people.
3.The smug busy-ies
The ones you have to book three months in advance because they’re just soooo busy. Everyone’s busy but their busyness is beyond anything you can comprehend. They will regularly complain about how busy they are and how constantly on the move they are. But secretly they love it, they just want you to ask them about it. Lots.
Screw breakfast. Sod your lunch. The brunchers are out every weekend in the Riding House Café and such-like Instagramming eggs and debating avocados. I kind of love the brunchers to be fair.
5. The bloggers
Sorry, we’re everywhere now.
- Image attribution: A fellow blogger – I’m not as angry about scooters as him though – thehateparade.blogspot.co.uk