Four things people like and I don’t understand why
I was thinking the other day when I was procrastinating getting up for work, my head delightfully cocooned by my warm pillow, how it is people say they enjoy the cold side of the pillow. Like removing your head from its cosy position, to flip the pillow and snuggle up to its cold-hearted bitchy twin, is somehow a treat. And it made me think about some of the other things people like which I don’t get. Read on and see if you agree. And take it with a pinch of salt, yeah? After all, it is coming from someone who follows people from Made in Chelsea on Instagram, so we all have our weird likes to bear.
Why are those little annoying yellow things who like eating bananas on duvet covers now? And mugs? And as adult fancy dress costumes? And overwriting inspirational phrases on Facebook about the pains of Monday? I just don’t understand it.
- Apple Macs
Ooohhhh, we’re so fancy, that you have to totally relearn how to copy and paste something if you want to use us. Oh yeah, and if you don’t touch the mousepad in exactly the right way we’re not going to scroll for you for shit. We’re going to leave you flailing around at the top of a webpage forever more. I dread meetings where we need to bring our work laptops as I know it’s going to take me twice as long to do anything because I can’t just bring up Microsoft Word or understand how to get into Google Drive.
- Really strong coffee
It’s like you want to take something and see what the limit is for bearability. Coffee isn’t nice if you feel like your eyeballs are being sucked back into your head. If you want to feel like you’re going to be sick and have a poo simultaneously, by all means drink down your bitter beans, you weirdo. Just one teaspoon of instant for me, thanks. And lots of milk.
This one is a conundrum, because I have friends who live abroad who I dearly love speaking to, but Skype is just awful, especially if you’re doing it with more than two of you. It feels so sterile and lacks any bonhomie at all. I can’t ever keep up with the thread of conversation and don’t get me started on the little webcam thing. I don’t feel like I’m seeing a lovely friend’s face (as I should), I feel like I’m being spied on by a particularly incompetent spy.
- This gorilla doesn’t have time for your shit. Image attribution: fPat Murray, Flickr