Tales of a City Girl

39 pet hates Londoners can relate to

I thought I was overdue a pet hates post. So here’s my therapeutic look at everything annoying me with London life right now (please note this post is meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek. I’m not enough of an idiot to really count these as real problems).

1. People that don’t respect queues. Why should you get to cut in, eh?

2. People who don’t move down the tube…

3. … and people who don’t realise there isn’t any space to move down the tube

4. Being tired all the time

5. Public transport tannoys that are super chatty when there’s nothing wrong but go radio silent whenever you’ve mysteriously stopped moving

6. People who sniff a lot or even worse, make that kind of phlegm-y throat noise

7. All changing room mirrors across the capital, apart from maybe Joy, because then at least you get to find out your height compared to famous people

8. Self-service tills that don’t respect the fact you’ve PUT YOUR ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA and don’t have time for their shit

9. When you go for something different off the menu and it’s just not right, and you miss your old favourite. Thinking outside the box is rubbish (Leon, I’m looking at you right now. Your chicken burgers are just awful)

10. People that refuse to go to South London because apparently it’s so far away they might explode

11. Not knowing what you should wear – are 4 layers enough? Do I need a scarf? Will that mean I’ll have weird neck sweat by the time I get to my location?

12. Not knowing what to do with your damp umbrella when you take it indoors and consequently going through roughly 2 a month because you’ve propped them in corridors you don’t remember or left them on train seats

13. The property market

14.  Neighbours who play loud music or, as we once had, fancy themselves musicians. I thought a guitar was being murdered on a regular basis

15. Chuggers and the consequent guilt you feel when you pass them again 5 minutes later with your shopping or coffee, hence ruining your constructed ‘I’m so sorry I just don’t have time to speak’ excuse

16. Passive aggressive emails

17. Buying something online and then having one extra marketing email a day to delete until the end of time

18. The cost of repairing your phone. I’m sorry, I forgot I was asking you for a new screen MADE OF GOLD

19. When people check into airports on Facebook when you’re at work/on your way to work. That is until it happens to you and you do the same thing, in which case, ha

20. Offices with no temperature control so you now own such a thing as a ‘work pashmina’ you keep at your desk like some posh pensioner

21. People that type loudly in the office

22. People that cook anything smelly in the office

23. Instant coffee in the office

24. Running out of instant coffee in the office

25. Leaving your phone for a couple of hours and coming back and seeing the Facebook group message has now gone so far you’ll never find your place again, and you’ve probably inadvertently agreed to go somewhere and forgotten about it

26. Spiders inside the house

27. iPhone battery life

28. Clothes shop sizes. Zara, how can I be an XS in one thing and simultaneously not get an L in something else over my head? I place the blame for any body image issues I have at your door

29. Slow moving people, especially at the tops/bottoms of escalators

30. People who stand on the step behind you on the escalator. Take a step back, mate

31. PDAs in parks/public transport etc. Again, unless it’s you, because in that case it’s sweet and your love should not be frowned upon

32. Jealousy of others Instagram posts

33. Uber surge pricing

34. Hairdresser prices

35. Waxing prices

36. Being screwed over by a voucher site (its not a deal if I’m paying a £10 surcharge because my hair is longer than shoulder length)

37. The one neighbour who decides to mow his lawn/get the builders in on a Saturday morning

38. Going for ‘one drink’ and then waking up the next morning having gone in on the rounds and quietly sobbing on the commute to work with a headache and no money

39. People who complain about London

  • Image attribution: Danny O, Flickr (this also looks a lot like me when I’m hungover and commuting)