Tales of a City Girl

Facebook – Kryptonite for your social life (your real one)

Am I addicted to Facebooking? Well, put it this way – Dan texted me ‘RUDE’ in capital letters over dinner last Saturday as I absent-mindedly scrolled through my news feed and  I didn’t even realise I was involved that much particularly (in Facebook, not in my relationship).

There’s something about this Facebook malarkey that just appeals to my lowest common denominator. It’s like catching up with all your friends’ lives without doing the pesky things of calling them or meeting up with them. Boom. Social life in a can.

Of course, I am over-exaggerating a fair amount.  But I stand by my claim that Facebook is basically addictive, slightly awful and we should all just put down our phones and stop the Facebook flow, at least for a while.

Here are my top three worst things about Facebook.

1. Everyone is always going to look like they’re having a better time than you

Facebook is basically a deluge of everyone’s best sides. Profile pics in foreign lands, checking into airports and fancy bars, and flashing pictures of engagement rings/dogs/beautific looking babies are all the norm.

What you don’t see is that couple checking in at the airport probably just had a fight about what sweets to get in WHSmith before getting on the plane and are probably both wishing they’d gone away with other people. The dog is a money drain and likes to go walking in all weathers. And that lovely wee baby can vomit more in a night than a teenager experimenting with vodka for the first time.

I’m not saying it’s a bad idea in principle for people to document what they like about their lives on Facebook, but as the viewer, remember it’s all that bit more perfect than anyone’s real life ever is.

2. Two words. Relationship bores.

Love can be a beautiful thing. But, even if you’re in an open relationship, I would assume love is between the people in that relationship. It doesn’t need to be broadcast all the time to be heard or to be known.

We’ve all got those people on our Facebooks, the one who put up pictures of flowers their beau sent them when they were off work with the sniffles, have full on pictures of them kissing everywhere, or (god forbid) have some inspirational quote about the strength of their love on their profile until it all becomes some sort of shrine.

One is OK. Three, no. These couples are going to end up Facebook checking into bed with their partner (no really, I heard of someone who did this), and then what’s the world come to, eh. Don’t even get me started on the ‘cryptic’ statuses following an argument. Just. Stop.

3. It’s basically everywhere.

Remember when you had to develop your holiday photos at Boots? Invite people to your party by actually talking to them? When the circle of people who knew about your life were your mates, of which you had 20 tops, and your parents?

No, I bet you don’t. Because you’re too used to inviting your 500 friends plus to your Facebook events where you will take photos that immediately go onto Facebook. And then people will start liking them, and then you’ll have the most flattering photo as your profile picture, and then people will like your profile picture, and then you’ll get a friend request from someone at the party, and then… OH GOD, NO. PLEASE. I WANT IT TO END.

  • Image attribution: Nate Bolt, Flickr (I can’t link properly to the specific image at the moment, but will do as soon as I can)