Tales of a City Girl

Gym hamsters – just go to the pub

I’m not a particular lover of the gym – it’s a place of necessity to get my cardio in so I can eat carbs without turning into a dough ball. But a particular type of people in my gym irritate the bajaysus out of me. The ones that just don’t do anything at all.

The ones that take a promenade on a treadmill, for example. They might as well be in a park and actually have some fun on their strolls rather than just stare at the bleak gym mirrors in front of them.

The ones that take up the mats by lying on the ground flicking through their Spotify playlists. Or those that are ‘spotting’ their friend doing sit ups on an adjacent mat while sitting on a step bench.

Let me get myself straight. I’m not talking about lack of fitness levels. I’m hardly Jessica Ennis-Hill myself. If you’re doing something, at whatever pace you’re doing it at, then good for you.

But my gym is the most over-subscribed gym in South London, I like to feel. It’s not rare to queue up to get a space in the workout spaces or to get on the machines. And there are so much better places to do nothing than at the gym.

Have you watched Pretty Little Liars for example? Go back to the beginning and try to work out who A is! It’s riveting, and you can even do your Kegels in front of Netflix and I won’t have any opportunity to complain about a thing.

Let us losers who are lured to the gym precisely to hammer it out on our own, have our fun.

Let’s face it – if you’re going to do nothing at the gym, you might as well be at the pub and enjoy yourself instead.